FEEDBACKS SCREENSHOTS
Happy afternoon,
Cristian Ramirez
Re: Task 4: Narrative
Cordial greeting Cristian. Following the requirements of the activity guide, I share Step 3, feedback to your short fiction story The great Inflitration
First, I want to talk about your protagonist, Michelle Hurt, a woman with shooting skills and combat techniques, who appeared on any given day near the White House.
From my point of view, your story has a strong protagonist character that awakens intrigue and mystery, important ingredients when captivating the reader. Therefore, I believe that Michelle Hurt can perfectly take the plot of a story and has characteristics that allow a creative and interesting story. "Your protagonist centers the story drives the plot, and his or her fate gives the story its meaning. As you move forward in the writing process, it's important to choose the right protagonist ". Bunting, J. (2018).
On the other hand, I want to tell you that your plot of fiction is catchy, easily captures the reader's attention. From the beginning, I wanted to know who that woman was and what mystery was locked up. Besides, I could see the police station and the intense interrogation. "The secret of fiction is to enchant, create a momentary illusion that one lives in the world of history itself." [TED-Ed] (2015). In other words, I was able to move to another world full of mystery and expectation.
In terms of style, according to Literary Devices: "... is the way writers put words together. The selection of words and the structure of an author's sentences make up his style. " Stratford, M. (2017), I believe that you could risk exploring new forms of expression, using new words, maybe some metaphors, which would undoubtedly enrich your interesting argument. "If you tell the story with a real and empty language, you run the risk that the spell may be weak" (TED-Ed.) (2015).
Finally and in a respectful way, I suggest you make the correction of the city where your story takes place, because the white house is in the city of Washington D, C and not in New York, although if the plot occurs in the year 2040, maybe you want to justify why New York became the new capital of the United States.
I hope my comments and suggestions will be useful for improving your story and thanking you for your active participation.
Cordially
Ricardo González
Re: Task 4: Narrative
Dear Gustavo,
What a great story you have written and lived, I do not really believe in this kind of stories because I have never had to face them, I am a judicial police in Bogota and criminal groups do whatever they can to carry out their crimes and especially to drug trafficking, I liked the way you write your short story.
Happy afternoon,
Cristian Ramirez
Re: Task 4: Narrative
Good morning dear Rachel:
I was reading your document and I think it is very good, at the time of progressing in reading the mystery remains about what to do later on, I believe that you manage a good chronology within the short story and good vocabulary, only detail that almost The whole document "you mention Catrina the Gruñona and in one part you write Catrina the Grunt, for this I would believe that it is better to use it in only one way for grammatical reasons.
Happy day,
Cristian Ramirez.
Cristian Ramirez.
Re: Task 4: Narrative
Good evening dear partner
Ricardo González
Thank you to share your interesting Fiction Short Story about
THE PRINCE WHO WANTED THE WAR
Unnatural scenarios and events primarily concern the question of “what it is like” (Herman 2009, 14)[1] to experi-ence the transcending of physical laws, logical principles, or standard human limitations of knowledge and ability, and such experiences are restricted to the world of fiction
Taking into account the comment of the author. Your story of science fiction count with the requirements, first of all has between 500 to 996 words ,is a short story easy to understand, the protagonist is well described as the scenario where the story unfolds with events an imaginary thematic based narratively on fields of the physical, natural and social sciences, there are dialogues which is well directed, on the other hand it takes place in a scenario where there is a beginning, a plot and a coherent outcome within each paragraph.
Thank you
Regards
Raquel Bautista
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